|
"We've been working for months on this skyscraper!"
This article requires all sections to be fully complete! By adding information, you can help out and finish the page! |
(the episode begins in the kitchen where Garfield is asleep in his bed)
Garfield: *snores loudly*
(Nermal enters the pet door into the kitchen and tiptoes)
Nermal: Like the fog, Nermal comes on lit-tle cat feet, with built-in sneakers.
(Nermal briefly covers the camera before resuming tiptoeing past Garfield, who throws off his blanket and yawns; Nermal cringes, but Garfield goes back to sleep; Nermal tiptoes past Garfield)
Nermal: *giggling softly*
(Nermal tiptoes toward the refrigerator and stops suddenly after hearing...)
Automatic Fridge: Warning! You are too close to this refrigerator! Step back or the alarm will go off! Repeat, you are too close to this refrigerator! Please step back!
(Nermal slowly backs up and is surprised to see Garfield standing behind him)
Nermal: G-Garfield!
Garfield: *yawns* Talking refrigerator alarm with infrared sensors. Reacts to body heat. Latest thing for discouraging unauthorized pig-outs and unwanted guest stars. Take the hint, Nermal.
Nermal: It just so happens that yours truly, the world's cutest kitten, is here to tell a story on your show today, Garfield.
Garfield: Who says?
Nermal: The network! That's who. (clears throat)
(An anonymous sales representative enters)
Anonymous Sales Representative: Fluctuations indicate that the guest star cutability quotient has a significant impact on the actual numbers.
Garfield: Could I have that in English? Or don't you speak that?
Anonymous Sales Representative: Garfield, the bottom line is that we want Nermal to tell a story.
Garfield: Not on my show! I'm the star, remember? (turns to camera) So what if they don't like it? What can they do to me?
(a fantasy of Garfield and Friends being cancelled is seen)
Anonymous Off-Camera Commercial Narrator: Garfield and Friends will never be seen again, so that we may bring you a new series about house-breaking snails, for fun and profit!
(Garfield slowly shoves the fantasy away, breaking the fourth wall)
Garfield: Okay, okay, you've made your point. Nermal can do the story.
Anonymous Sales Representative: Fabulous! I'll get back to you. Your people will talk to my people. Let's do lunch. Ciao!
(the representative leaves)
Garfield: This had better be good.
(Garfield reluctantly leaves, leaving Nermal alone and starstruck)
Nermal: So this is what it feels like to be a star!
Garfield: Until you feel the responsibility for the success of the show, you don't know what it feels like yet. (whips out acoustic megaphone) Caterer! (puts megaphone away as a caterer approaches with a tray of food) Charge this tidbit to the star's account please.
Caterer: Anything you say, sir.
(Garfield quickly devours the food as the scene cuts back to Nermal with the kitchen changing into a fantasy library)
Nermal: Today, I am going to tell you a true story, that really happened! (a chair drops and lands right next to Nermal, who promptly leaps into it as he tells the story) It's about a legendary American folk hero. There were many heroes in the early days, when the country was expanding westward. We've all heard of Davie Crocket, Kit Carson, and Daniel Boone, to name a few. Paul Bunyan was the mightiest of mighty, and so was his big blue cat.
Lumberjack in Blue: Sacré bleu, Big Blue! How about giving us a hand with these trees?
Paul's Big Blue Cat: (while pushing over a series of conifers with his finger; voice echoing) Timbeeeerrrr!
Lumberjacks: (General mumbles of approval and shouting)
Nermal: Paul Bunyan was the greatest lumberjack of them all. And while he worked, the big blue cat slept. He used an entire valley for his bed! When he wasn't sleeping, the big blue cat liked to engage in his third favorite pastime: annoying small puppies.
(a small puppy resembling Odie enters chasing a butterfly and runs into the big blue cat's mouth, which is wide open)
Small Puppy: (barking)
(the big blue cat stands up and closes his mouth; the puppy comes to a stop)
Small Puppy: (pants) Huh?! (exclaims in surprise)
Paul's Big Blue Cat: (laughs) Ptooey!
(the big blue cat spits the puppy out of his mouth, sending him flying into a bird's nest with an egg; a mother bird glares at the puppy)
Puppy: (screams)
(the puppy grins and pats the egg before the scene changes)
Nermal: Now, Paul Bunyan kept an entire crew of cooks whose only job was to feed the big blue cat. Sometimes, they needed his help.
Cook I: We need some more ice, Paul!
(Paul walks to an icy climate in just a few short steps, grabs a big chunk of ice from the water, returns to the big blue cat, who is waiting to drink a giant glass of soda; Paul drops the ice into the soda and the cat swiftly drinks it up)
Cook II: Zut alors! He just drank 100,000 gallons of soda!
Cook III: Heh-heh, it's all right, it's diet cola, only one calorie.
Cook II: Huh huh, but you know what is next!
Cook III: Oh no, I forgot! Sound the alarm!
(general pandemonium ensues as everyone finds a place to hide)
Paul's Big Blue Cat: (burps extremely loudly)
Nermal: The workers worked all day feeding the big blue cat. The cat had the world's biggest sandbox, too, Wagon teams were kept busy hauling the sand for it - in fact, the entire California coastline was dug by the teams of workers who loaded the sand into the wagons.
Garfield: Okay, that's it. Enough. Strike the fantasy sequence.
(scene cuts to Garfield, who is still eating a mountain of food on the big table; he faces Nermal)
Garfield: How do you expect the viewing public to believe a tall tale full of wild exaggeration like this? A cat that eats that much! Too fantastic for me to believe.
Nermal: Is that so? Well, in case you've forgotten who you're dealing with -
Garfield: Oh really?
(the anonymous sales representative enters again)
Anonymous Sales Representative: Nermal, the hourly sampling of key cities indicates a, uh, plunge in the ratings during this segment, possibly due to the low "believability-index" curve.
Nermal: Y-you mean. I'm canceled?
Anonymous Sales Representative: I mean, in short, your story is too ridiculous and embarrassing and uh you're fired. Hit the freeway.
(the representative leaves)
Nermal: I-I don't understand it!
Garfield: My boy, you've just learned one of the more painful facts of life: what the network giveth, the network can taketh awayeth.
Nermal: But, what will I do now?
Garfield: I happen to know they're looking for someone cute to work in a show down the hall. Hurry over to Studio 7 and tell them I sent you.
Nermal: Oh gee, thanks Garfield, I'll never forget this!
(Nermal quickly leaves and hurries over to Studio 7)
Nermal: Here it is, Studio 7! Maybe I'll get on a show that appreciates true cuteness. (looks at the camera and smiles)
Garfield: (looks at camera and smiles the same way) Before we go on with my show, I think we should see how he's doing. (turns on TV)
TV Announcer: And now, back to our show, Attack of the Mutant Dinosaurs!
(A huge T-Rex walks and roars on the TV just as Nermal arrives from the other side; Nermal trembles in fear at the sight of the huge beast)
Nermal: Help! This wasn't in my contract! I quit! Garfield, help! Garfield! This dinosaur's 50 feet tall!
Garfield: See? He's exaggerating again, that dinosaur's only 40 feet tall.
(episode ends)