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Transcript

(episode opens inside a courtroom with people whispering amongst themselves)

Bailiff: All rise!

(Jon Arbuckle and the entire jury all stand up; Garfield eats a bag of popcorn; he eventually stands up on the bench and continues eating; a Judge enters and takes his post at the podium)

Judge: Call the case, bailiff.

Bailiff: The state versus Binky the Clown.

(Everyone in the jury is now seated again; Garfield munches on a burrito)

Judge: Sondheim, send in the clown.

(Binky the Clown suddenly appears and scares the judge, causing him to drop his papers)

Binky: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey, Judge!

Judge: Aaaaah!

(a police officer yanks Binky away as Garfield now drinks a cup of Cola)

Garfield: Binky doesn't deserve to be in jail.

Judge: Binky Clown, have you ever been up before me?

Binky: I don't know, Your Honor. What time do you get up? (cackles)

(Garfield now licks some ice cream)

Garfield: No, maybe he does.

(the Judge bangs the gavel)

Judge: Take the stand.

(Binky takes a chair and presents it)

Binky: Where do you want me to take it, huh?

(A district attorney is seen with his notes and briefcase as Binky comes next to him and copies his movements)

District Attorney: Your Honor, we intend to prove that this...this clown is guilty of robbery, grand theft, and burglary in the first degree. I have written out the charges.

(The D.A. opens his briefcase and takes out some notes)

D.A.: That's odd. Where are my briefs?

Binky: Hey, did you lose these? (cackles)

(Binky takes out a pair of "briefs" or trousers and sticks them on the D.A.'s head)

Jon: (whispering to Garfield) It looks bad for Binky.

(Garfield is now feasting on a ham)

Garfield: (whispering) I'll say. Three more of these jokes, and he may get the chair.

Judge: Binky, what have you to say about the D.A.'s charges?

Binky: I think if he uses a credit card, he ought to pay 'em! (laughs)

Garfield: I can't take any more of this.

(Garfield wipes his mouth with his napkin and leaves the courtroom)

Garfield: Binky behind bars. How can I find out what led to this? I know!

(Garfield leaves and comes back with a paperback book)

Garfield: Let's see. This is the script to today's show. I'll go back a few pages.

(Garfield turns pages back to the beginning and reads)

Garfield: (reading) "Binky was your average, honest, horrendously annoying clown."

(dissolve to "The Binky Show" at WBOR where Binky throws a pie in an assistant's face)

Binky: Gotcha! (cackles)

Garfield: (VO) Everyone loved Binky.

(Binky continues cackling, takes out a hose with a bottle and squirts the assistant)

Garfield: (VO) Everyone who owned earplugs, that is. But there was one man who not only hated Binky, he had an idea.

(a partially bald man with orange hair over his ears appears behind the scenes unnoticed)

Stinky: (laughs evilly) Binky, you're gonna make me a fortune.

(Stinky runs to Binky's dressing room and grabs a spare set of Binky's clothes)

Garfield: (VO) His name was Stinky Davis, and he was wanted in 12 states and not wanted in all the others.

(Stinky dresses in Binky's spare clothes and puts on makeup)

Garfield: (VO continues) In his earlier days, Stinky had been a clown himself. But he was thrown out of the clown union for making naughty balloon animals.

(Stinky puts on a clown hat and wig)

Garfield: (VO continues) Now, he disguised himself as an exact duplicate of Binky and...

(cut back to Garfield reading the script at the courthouse, present day)

Garfield: Oh, no! It's...it's an evil twin story! It's come to that! (sighs, then reads) Soon, Stinky began a crime wave.

(dissolve to local bank with a female bank teller where Stinky suddenly appears holding a hose)

Stinky: (imitating Binky) Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey, bank teller! Give me all your money, or else! (cackles maniacally)

(the bank teller is forced to give up hundreds of bills to Stinky as she frantically piles them up

(cut to a jewelry store with a male clerk)

Garfield: (VO) No one was safe from him.

Stinky: (imitating Binky) Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey, jewelry store owner! I got a lemon meringue pie! And I know how to use it!

(the clerk puts his hands up and trembles as Stinky opens a chest and takes a popular jewel)

Stinky: (imitating Binky) Ah, the Klopman Diamond! (cackles even more maniacally and leaves with the diamond)

(Stinky leaves; cut to a bigger city bank as a clown car arrives in front as Binky and three other clowns steal bags of money from it)

Garfield: (VO) Soon, he had enlisted a whole gang of clowns to spread his terror.

(burglar alarm rings as frightened customers panic in alarm and the clown car speeds away)

Man 1: Help! Oh, no!

Man 2: Help! Someone call the police!

(a police wagon chases after the clown car with siren blaring)

Garfield: (VO) The police were on the job. But they were no match for Bink...I mean, Stinky."

(Stinky throws pies from the getaway clown car into the windshield of the police wagon)

Policeman: I can't see!

(the police car swerves and crashes into a fire hydrant; water rushes out after the impact)

Policeman: All units, be on the lookout for a clown. Red nose, orange hair, feet size 37.

(cut to WBOR as a squad of police cars with sirens blaring surround the station)

Garfield: (VO) In no time at all, they'd identified their suspect.

(Binky is in his dressing room juggling balls until he suddenly drops them after the police appear)

Policeman: Reach for the trapeze, clown.

(Binky puts his hands up into the air)

Garfield: (VO) That's when Binky made his mistake. He ran. Or rather, he blew.

(Binky takes out a balloon and blows it, which propels him high out of the skyline)

Policeman: He's getting away!

(Binky pops the balloon and lands on the ground next to the police cars; he then runs for it)

Policeman: There he goes! After him!

(the policeman and several others chase Binky with nightsticks; Binky stands in front of a bakery as the police arrive; they don't notice at first, but Binky takes the chance to escape inside the bakery)

Policeman: There he is! He went into that bakery! (to Binky inside) Come out, and there'll be no trouble.

(a pie hits the policeman in the face as a response; a barrage of pies is then thrown at the police as they try to hide behind a nearby car)

Policeman: (to other officers) Get back! He's armed doing custard! That bakery's well-stocked! He could hold up in there for days!

(the policeman speaks into his radio)

Policeman: DIspatch? We have a 708 out here. That's right. Clown barricaded inside bakery with pies. We need the baked goods SWAT team.

(a baked goods SWAT wagon arrives on the scene with siren blaring)

Policeman: (on megaphone) Binky, this is the police. We have the place surrounded. Put down your meringue and come out with your hands up. Do you understand?

(another pie is thrown into the policeman's face as a response)

Policeman: I hoped it wouldn't come to this.

Garfield: (VO) The police tried everything.

(Another police officer disguised as Binky's mother appears)

Policeman: (on megaphone) Binky, we have your mother out here. Please, come out.

(another pie is thrown at Binky's "mother's" face as a response)

Policeman: Okay, I'm through being Mr. Nice Clown. Bring in the secret weapon!

(the baked goods SWAT van pulls up and opens, and an officer is seen playing the organ; another officer on top, shines a search light on a trap they set to capture Binky; Binky, not wanting to miss his chance for fame, gives a big smile and runs out as another officer rolls on his drum)

Binky: Ta-da!

(the police look at Binky, who just realizes he's fallen into their trap)

Binky: Uh-oh.

(the bag captures Binky)

Policeman: Clowns is so stupid.

(dissolve to jail where Binky and other criminals line up)

Garfield: (VO) Binky was quickly ID-ed.

Witness: That's him! That's the one with the round, red nose! I'd know him anywhere!

(dissolve back to Garfield inside the courthouse)

Garfield: (reads) "And so, Binky was brought to trial."

(Garfield goes outside to search for Stinky)

Garfield: There must be a way to prove his innocence. I wonder where Stinky the Clown is now. Probably hiding somewhere.

(suddenly, a trumpeting of an elephant is heard as a circus is passing by with wagons and other animals; Stinky is seen riding the elephant)

Garfield: Of course! If a clown wants to hide, where's the best place? In a circus!

(as the circus marches on, a whistle is heard blowing; Garfield has disguised himself as a ringleader and blows the whistle again; he leads the circus and does a 180 back to the courthouse; cut back inside the courtroom where the D.A. is continuing to state his case as Binky is busily juggling his balls)

D.A.: And in summation, I demand that this clown be sent to prison for the next 99 years.

(just then, the door bursts open as Garfield leads the circus into the courtroom where there is an immediate uproar)

D.A.: Your Honor, I object! He's turning this courtroom into a circus!!

Stinky: (real voice) Uh-oh.

(Stinky leaps off the elephant and tries to make a run for it, but crashes into Binky)

Bailiff: There's two Binkies!

Policeman: Which one is the real one?

Binky: (overlapping with Stinky) I'm the real Binky! No, I am! He's the crook that did all those crimes!

Stinky: (overlapping with Binky) I'm the real Binky! No, it's me! I never lied to him in my life! The crook is him! That's not me!

Judge: How can we tell which is the real Binky?

(Garfield carries the script to the Judge and points to his line)

Garfield: (clears throat) Just read this line of dialogue, Your Judgeship, sir.

Judge: All right. What is this you're showing me, kitty cat? (reading) "Order in the court."

Binky: I'll have a ham on rye! Hold the mayo! Hee-hee!

(Stinky cringes as Garfield points to the real Binky)

Garfield: There's the real Binky.

Judge: Arrest that phony!

(two policemen carry a furious Stinky out of the courtroom as they open the door)

Stinky: Hey! You can't do this to me! I'll get you for this, cat!

(the door closes behind Stinky and the two policemen)

Garfield: The real Binky could never resist a very old joke.

(dissolve to outside the courthouse where a paddy wagon takes Stinky away; Garfield and Jon stand outside together)

Jon: Garfield, you're a hero! I'll bet Binky wants to thank you!

(Jon leaves the scene as Binky suddenly arrives and taps Garfield hard)

Binky: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey, cat! I owe you a big favor! So from now on, I'm gonna visit you every day and bring you lots of surprises...like this!

(Binky hands Garfield a box)

Binky: I'll make your life so much fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun!

(Garfield opens the box, and a pie splats him in the face)

Garfield: Maybe I made a mistake.

(episode ends)

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