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Garfield's Babes and Bullets/Transcript

< Garfield's Babes and Bullets

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  • [The special starts with with the view of a house in Jon Arbuckle's neighbourhood. The camera moves to the side showing other houses and stops on Jon's house. The camera zooms into the house. Garfield is sitting near the window sill.]
  • Garfield: I'm bored. [pause] Bored, bored, bored.
  • [He jumps down. He walks and leans with his hand on a door.]
  • Garfield: What to do today, what to do, what to do?
  • [He looks at the door then the handle. He turns and opens the door. Saxophone music bursts out. Garfield looks at the viewer then slams the door. He opens again and sees a fedora and a waistcoat. Again he closes and opens the door. The camera zooms in at the fedora and waistcoat. Garfield walks in.]
  • Garfield: Hey, not bad. [He puts on the fedora and waistcoat.] Nice fit. [The screen turns black and white. He turns the fedora to the side.] Here's looking at you Sam. Play it again.
  • [Two lights appear in the background and get larger. The sound of a car's engine is heard in the background. Garfield, now Sam Spayed, looks behind him and jumps to the side. On a mountain top, a car is driving alongside the edge of the cliff. The car breaks through the barrier and plummets into the cliff.]

  • [A view of San Francisco appears.]
  • Sam Spayed: San Francisco's a beautiful city. [The camera zooms in.] Cable cars, fog rolling off the bay, China Town, the Golden Gate Bridge, The Wharf. [The viewer now sees an office next to a hotel.] Gee, I wish I lived there. Dust had to be about an inch [A door is shown which states "Sam Spayed Private Investigator".] on my desk. A thick layer of papers was forming around the base of the trashcan. [Inside the office, Sam Spayed is resting with his feet on the desk.] An empty bottle of milk lay on the floor next to the couch where I had a business engagement the night before. [A police siren is heard in the background.]
  • Woman: Coffee Sam?
  • Sam Spayed: Yeah.
  • [A woman's hand puts a cup of coffee on the desk.]
  • Sam Spayed: Kitty wasn't much on keeping an office [He picks up the cup.] clean, but she could make a great cup of coffee. [He takes a sip from the cup.] I still remember the day, she came in looking for work. [Kitty is holding a plate with a kettle on it. ] She wanted to be a secretary [pause] she had all the requirements. [Kitty walks into the secretary office.] She made a great cup of coffee [pause] I gave her a job... that was yesterday. Being a private dick isn't easy with a name like Sam Spayed. [He takes another sip from his cup.] But I got all the requirements, I like babes and bullets... and I look kinda neat in a trench coat.
  • Kitty: More coffee Sam?
  • Sam Spayed: Nah.

  • [A woman is walking in front of Spayed's office.]
  • Sam Spayed: It was a slow day. [She now stops in front of the office.] The hours seemed to drag by like a New York [The viewer now sees a clock. The time is ten to six.] Giants versus Brooklyn Dodgers doubleheader. [Spayed starts walking.] I decided to get a phone.
  • [The woman at the door's hand reaches to open the door. Spayed walks up towards the door.]
  • Sam Spayed: As I was leaving the office, [He's hand opens the door.] I found myself face to face [The camera goes from her feet to her face.] with one of the most beautiful creatures I'd ever seen.

  • More to come

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