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Transcript

Garfield: (to the viewing audience) Greetings. The cartoon you're about to see represents a major breakthrough in the area of audience participation. Usually you have to watch the cartoon that we want you to watch. But today, you'll get to vote on what you want to see happen in the cartoon. We'll give you three choices for each decision, and whichever choice gets the most applause is the one we'll do. For example, should we have Jon in "A," his regular clothes...

(few people clapping)

Garfield: "...B," a snappy tuxedo...

(few people clapping)

Garfield: ...or "C," a stupid-looking pigeon suit?

(all cheering and applauding loudly)

Garfield: "C," a stupid-looking pigeon suit. That was my choice, too. Okay, now in this cartoon, should we feature "A," Nermal, the self-proclaimed world's cutest kitty cat?

(few people clapping)

Nermal: Yay! Woo-hoo! All right! Yay!

Garfield: (to Nermal offstage) You're not allowed to vote, Nermal. (to the viewing audience) Or should we feature "B," Binky the Clown?

(one person clapping)

Garfield: Good. Or should we feature "C," Odie?

(all cheering and applauding loudly)

Garfield: Okay, I get the message. Now our last question for now: Should this cartoon take place "A," in our living room...

(few people clapping)

Garfield: ..."B," our backyard...

(few people clapping)

Garfield: ...or "C," whatever scenery we've got lying around backstage?

(all cheering and applauding loudly)

Garfield: Okay, whatever we have lying around backstage. (to studio crew) What's back there, guys?

(scene change)

(dramatic instrumental music)

Garfield: Looks like a national park. (to the viewing audience) Okay, that's all the decisions you have to make now. There'll be more later. (yawns) Okay, here's the cartoon. And remember, if you don't like it, it's your own fault. (yawns) (snoring)

(soft instrumental music)

Odie: (barking happily)

Jon: Not now, Odie. I have to finish cooking the burgers. Go play with Garfield.

Odie: Right! (barking continues)

(playful instrumental music)

Garfield: (snoring continues)

Odie: (panting)

Garfield: You want me to throw the stick so you can fetch it?

Odie: Yeah! Yeah!

Garfield: (to the viewing audience) Okay, folks, time for you to vote again. Should I "A," throw the stick so he can fetch it...

(few people clapping)

Garfield: ..."B," interrupt my nap to frolic with the pooch here...

(few people clapping)

Garfield: ...or "C," slingshot the mutt into the next area code?

(all cheering and applauding loudly)

Garfield: "C" it is!

Odie: (whimpering)

Garfield: (to Odie) Hey, don't blame me. They voted for it.

Odie: (whimpering)

Garfield: This is democracy in action.

Odie: (groans and exclaims in fright)

(water splashing)

Jon: Garfield, I saw that. That wasn't nice.

Garfield: It wasn't supposed to be nice.

Odie: (blubbering)

Jon: You go to the other side of the lake and bring Odie back or--

Garfield: (interrupting to the viewing audience) Which cheap threat should Jon use on the cat? Should he threaten "A," no food for a day...

(few people clapping)

Garfield: ..."B," no food for a week...

(few people clapping)

Garfield: ...or "C," no food until the next time Halley's Comet cruises the galaxy?

(all cheering and applauding loudly)

Jon: Bring Odie back or no food until the next time Halley's Comet cruises the galaxy.

Garfield: All right, all right! (to the viewing audience) Do you realize how embarrassing it is to be disciplined by a guy in a pigeon suit? (calling to Odie) Odie? Yoo-hoo, doggie? (to the viewing audience) Okay, time for you all to vote again. I can't find Odie. Should I "A," give up searching and take a nap...

(two people clapping)

Garfield: ...or "B," give up and go back to eat cheeseburgers with old pigeon suit...

(one person clapping)

Garfield: ...or "C," keep on looking for Odie until I find the dummy pup?

(all cheering and applauding loudly)

Garfield: (to the viewing audience) You sure you folks don't want to vote again? Okay, I'll keep looking. (calling to Odie) Odie? Earth to Odie, hello? Odie? Odie?

(the last "Odie" echoes out)

Garfield: Odie! It's no use. I'll never find him. It's hopeless. I can't go on. I've been looking for over...four minutes. Well, that's it.

(quizzical instrumental music)

Odie: (sniffing)

Garfield: Odie!

(suspenseful instrumental music)

Garfield: (gulps) (to the viewing audience) Okay, you have another decision to make, folks. Odie's going to meet someone in that cave. Should he meet "A," the Buddy Bears...

(few people clapping)

Garfield: ...or "B," Cactus Jake...

(few people clapping)

Garfield: ...or "C," a really ugly buggy-eyed razor-beaked finark?

(all cheering and applauding loudly)

Odie: (whimpering)

Finark: Finark!

Garfield: (VO to the viewing audience) Quickly, should Odie "A," run in terror...

(all cheering and applauding loudly)

Garfield: ..."B," run in terror...

(All cheering and applauding loudly)

Garfield: ...or "C," run in terror?

(all cheering and applauding loudly)

Garfield: (VO to Odie) You heard the voice of the people, Odie.

Odie: (yelps)

(fast-paced instrumental music)

Odie: (yelps)

Garfield: Should Odie sacrifice himself for his dear friend, Garfield?

(finark's giant footsteps get closer)

Garfield: (clapping) Yes! Yahoo! Definietely! (to Odie) Well, you heard the vote. Bye.

(clank)

Finark: (blubbering angrily) Finark! Finark!

(finark's steel beak clanging)

Finark: Finark!

(Finark stomping closer)

Garfield: (to the viewing audience) You people could've voted for Cactus Jake. But no, you had to pick the finark!

Finark: Finark! (blubbers menacingly)

Garfield: (whispering) I knew this voting thing was a lousy idea. (loudly to the viewing audience) Okay, last vote! Should we "A," flag down a cab to drive us out of this forest...

(few people clapping)

Garfield: ...or "B," get rescued by a strong, heroic forest ranger...

(few people clapping)

Garfield: ...or "C," stand and fight the finark with our bare hands?

(all cheering and applauding loudly)

Finark: (blubbering menacingly)

Garfield: What do you say, Odie? "A"?

Odie: Yeah! Aieee!

Garfield: (whistling) (to the viewing audience) Yeah, I know you all picked "C," but if you want to count the votes, get your own show.

(taxi cab door shuts)

(tires screeching)

(finark's stomping continues)

(episode ends)